10 March 2006
Everyone has failed at something, right? Like not just forgetting to pick up milk, but I mean failed a task at a job, or something of the like, where you just feel like a horses ass, and even though there is nothing you can do to correct the problem at that time, you still try every avenue, knowing they will fail. And not just a small crappy issue, but something of medium importance? Is it just me? Damn it. I feel like the JPL/NASA programmer that programmed the first Mars Lander in feet, when every other piece of equipment was programmed in meters, and then watched a couple million dollars of hardware and work bury soundlessly in the Martian soil at terminal velocity. I know my mistake isn't that earthshaking, and I'm sure I will make more, but I am a perfectionist when it comes to my field. I can sense my mothers obsessive-compulsiveness creeping up on me at times like these. I hate it, it taunts me when I think, just silently nagging," You fucked up, nice fucking job idiot, now everyone will think you are a complete fucktard. Idiot, idiot, idiot." Drives me nuts, and I am posting because I can't friggin sleep, with that shit running through my mind. If I go in a quiet room, those thoughts will assault me, and I will just stew, and try to find all the things I should have done. Maybe I'm nuts, but I can't help it, trust me I've tried. I just can't seem to do things as well as I envision in my perfect little mind. I just don't have the "Well, its good enough" gene in my body for certain things, especially when my intellectual or professional reputation (yeah I know its not much) is on the line. Well, time to go try to sleep, tomorrow is gonna be a fun one. I will need some drinks tomorrow night, so anyone in the immediate vicinity, time to get thirsty. I'm out.
Don't worry about it, weird things happen in the world just wish someone would make me understand that Night bro
yeah dude, don't fret. This type of shit happens to everyone. you're one of the smartest dudes i know and i know you'll pull though this.
I wish i was back in the area; i miss drinkin with you.
Later man
Todays word: bbsydsg
See? Its almost taken care of and its not even 11am. Dont worry so much! Its not the end of the world. But I know what you mean - but NO ONE will think your a failure, no one even knows what you are doing. Its all under wraps and I will keep my mouth zip. You have ways around getting things done and you are doing it! You smell freedom, dont you?
Two words that I picked up in the restaurant field that I stick true to are Adapt and Overcome. They apply to anything. Use them even when your eating a bowl of cereal.
hitbcvpj = weird!
So what did you do wrong?
You suck almost as much as Pants does!
(lnxsuaf)