08 June 2010
I used to have a horrible temper. I wouldn't jump right into violence, but it usually wasn't far behind, especially if alcohol or some other diversion was around. But, as you get older, maybe not wiser;just more tired, these outbursts are more easily contained. I have been thinking about this as of late, of how I can take things (idiots harassing me, people being generally barbaric and completely ignorant everywhere I look) and not go supernova, it has to be apathy.
The realization of current events. Just knowing that things aren't going to change, people are just completely off kilter. Those harsh realizations are part of true adulthood. But I think its also as you get older, you stop trying to change that which cannot be changed. You start to ignore the things that bother you. The nagging and retarded co-workers and clients, the spousal insanity that all marriages harbor in spades, watching the news, reading news on the web, seeing how far the human race has fallen into decadence and ignorance. These things, just a few years ago, would place me on a bar stool with a small group around me, listening to me rant about how we have brought about our own demise, and possibly all of our legacy as a species will vanish like mist burning off the morning sea.
Now, for reasons I can't explain, there is a flip. I will begin down that road, and something will distract me. My wife, my dog, some retarded text from a friend, a funny cat picture, etc.. When that happens, the feeling doesn't go away, it just feels....less important. Like it just moves to the background, and vanishes back into the depths of my thoughts. I guess I should be thankful...
But I'm not sure I am.
You and your lovely wife will make beautiful babies one day and THEY will save the world.