[ life:revisited 2010 + 1 ]

Well snowboarding was unexpectedly cancelled this weekend, due to a family loss. That coupled with my surgery, and the nice flu bug I happened to catch early Monday morning has made this weekend......lets just say less than fun.

So I have to go to a wake today, which I am not pleased to do. No one ever likes to do this, I know, but it makes me very uncomfortable, dealing with human mortality. During this time, you can't avoid death, can't think about something else, you know then clearly and plainly that we are all going to die. No romantic or heroic thoughts, just the plain fact that we are mortals, and that is it. Mortality is our greatest weakness, but it is also our greatest asset. If we lived forever, nothing would be special, nothing would be one of a kind, love and things of that nature wouldn't matter as much as if we were all immortal. So I guess this is the way of things, and all we can do is just try our best to deal and do the best we can in life. Because it can, and will, change in a heartbeat.

More to come on Wednesday, after I have this god-forsaken surgery. Later.

Drink: Jack and Captain and Coke.
Soundtrack: The Youngsters - Smile (Sasha / Involver)
WoC: My lack of Lightforge Spaulders. OMFG.

Yep kids, take a good look. This will soon be me. Whether or not I land without causing grievous bodily harm to myself and/or others, that is up to Mother Nature, and how nice she feels like being when I hit the powder. Considering I haven't strapped up since my Senior Year in HS, it may turn out to be the Winter Special Olympics Tryouts in the Quad Cities. I should take a before and after photo, because those of you that have snowboarded (and went with pussies who skiied), you tend to come back with a few more bruises then you started with. And I'm not as flexible as I once was, so this may end up looking like Anna Kournikova trying to drive an 18-wheeler. Hot and sexy, but on the road to destruction.

In WoW news, (yeah you know you want to hear it) the guild I am becoming affiliated with finally downed Ragnaros, one of the single most toughest runs in the game. Kudos to Silent Legion, Xedius, and those who were there. I wish I could have been, but I was busy not winning the gear I need. I hate you Dmitri, if you stopped to think for 1 second before sticking your sword into something, we wouldn't have died twice last night. I guess me and Loly need some form of a challenge, which is, strangely enough, keeping your ass alive. But enough of that, you tosser. Here is a pic of what Rag looks like, and yes he does eat his Wheaties.

Heh. So snowboarding should be a total hoot this weekend, considering I am going with my arch-nemesis Z3roP4ntz, be afraid. I will let everyone know how it goes, especially if any hospital trips or Holiday Inn hijinx occur, which I am sure they will (evil grin). Oh yeah, the mango habanero sauce at BW3 is delicious, but caused me to destroy a toilet this morning, there were no survivors. Now you can go about your business. Move along.

***Update*** ***Update*** ***Update***
Swiss researchers have made a startling discovery in human health!! Check it out!!

Augh. 3/4 of a bottle of Jack Daniels and 5 hrs at work are making me a tired, tired boy. But I can play WoW when I get home, hopefully go pick up my Lightforge Spaulders tonight (hope hope hope), so when I get home, it will be another night of WoW and movies, and 1/4 of a bottle of Jack. I guess that you have to finish what you start, or it makes you a quitter. And I'm no pussy.

The natural order must be restored.

Well someone call Lucifer, and tell him to put on his little warm booties and hat, its gonna get cold down there. Why you ask? Because, there is actually going to be a serious, un-biased (as best I can), and informative issue talked about today that I think is pertinent to the way we all live our lives. Whether it is shopping, paying bills, or just trying to relax and fit in a few hours of WoW, what do we use everyday? What could be this wide sweeping? Did you read the title of the post?

Tiered Internet. In the articles I am going to link here, you will see some different definitions, but I will try to break it down here a bit. "Tiering" the internet is changing the service levels, download speeds/amounts, traffic types, and filtering content of the Internet and offering it at a different price. **Sort of**. There are many different ways that the tiering would be implemented, and there are many facets to the issue, some that are acceptable, and some could grow into a monster. This idea has been around awhile, and the major players seem to be a large collection of ISPs (Internet Service Providers, they are the companies we pay to access the Internet, such as SBC/AT&T, Verizon), content providers (Such as Google, AOL, Microsoft), and government agencies.

As you can see, there are some heavy hitters involved, with a lot of money to be made or lost in this situation. The beef is essentially this: The ISPs are unhappy with the way their provided services are being used (VoIP, Video Streaming/Downloads, Torrent clients, etc.), and are also looking toward the future usages of the connections to the home (Higher speed fiber, medical and home diagnostic/security applications, etc..) are are proposing to change the service levels of the internet to adapt to these situations, to basically change the way the service is paid for, when different applications are involved.

Now, as you can see, there are bonuses to this situation:
- Medical applications in the home / Home electronic device convergence
- Deliverable Quality of Service (QoS)for some applications
- Faster connections, HD streaming, and improved applications for the "tier" you are on.

There are also some big negatives:
- Blocking of content that is currently being used such as Vonage, Torrent clients/streams, and possibly websites that do not adhere to Terms of Service for your "tier"
- Bandwidth and content download/access caps for websites, files, and applications
- Higher pricing for services we already are using

Now, I am personally against this initiative, because of what I believe the Internet is, and what it represents. I see the Internet as the last free refuge on planet Earth. People from all walks of life, cultures, languages, and creeds can go there and speak their peace on religion, politics, and government, and when they are done, I can buy some Anime DVDs from them on eBay. It allows for free exchange of ideas, without censorship. Now a lot of die hard right-wingers will bring up the terrorist hype. If a terrorist wants to bad mouth the U.S., and say how bad we Americans are, fine, I don't give a shit. I just won't look at his website, just like I don't look at Nazi rhetoric webpages. Now as soon as those organizations use the site as a clear center of a threat, and violent acts arise from it, that is different, and should be given to the courts of the world to decide, and that is another issue. But what if that was circumvented? The Internet has brought wonder, anger, laughter, and sadness to almost everyone in the world. As soon as we change that access, in order for companies and organizations that are already making money hand over fist at our expense, I believe censorship and control of the Internet will no longer rest in the hands of the government (an already questionable group, I know), but since webpages and content will be filtered by the ISP, and that will "theoretically" depend on your "tier", we are handing over censorship control to companies, and they already control enough. As much as I hate terrorism, hate-speech, and pure stupidity, I will still let those people and organziations speak, because it is a human's right to say what he wishes, as long as those words cause no physical harm or death. Verzion censoring webpages for whatever reason they please, citing that you have to pay in order to see them, or maybe not be able to see them at all is something I have a problem with! I have very little love and trust in the government, but I will take endless debate in the government about these issues, instead of suddenly not being able to access something I use because of a "tiered internet" solution. I know that this may sound a stretch, and I realize that, but this idea is just theoretical now, and I would like to hear other views on it. Please comment with what you think on this issue. I am also going to include some links to different articles on this issue. Enjoy, and please comment.

Links:

ArsTechnica:
http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20060117-5996.html
>http://arstechnica.com/news.ars/post/20060112-5965.html

NewsWeek / MSNBC:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11433420/site/newsweek/

Freepress.net:
http://www.freepress.net/news/13287

Slashdot.org / Article on the Nation:
>http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=06/02/02/1926257&from=rss

Drink: Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha, no friggin whip cream.
Soundtrack: Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood :)
Weapon of Choice: A Compaq EVO D300v

Don't really have too much to say today, same old grind, different day. Get to go snowboarding this weekend, even though I haven't strapped up in about 5 years. So it will be fall-on-my-ass time, and it will be glorious. I figure I will need a few drinks before I get on the lift, just to warm me up a bit. Only bad thing I can bitch about here is I get to have another surgery on the 28th, yayZor. It is the most uncomfortable and least wanted thing I wanted to do on Fat Tuesday, but when everyone bugs you to get it, I guess a few hours of crap and IV's are better than months and months of nag-tastic goodness. One thing that did piss me off last night though was.....

Anyone ever start something that they thought was going to be like an hour project, and then it turns into a 5 hour debacle? I did last night, it was the most complicated HD replacement, re-install and restore process in the history of computer tech. I won't go into it here (holy shit rly?) but I was fuming last night, enough to force me to have a few glasses of wine, which dulled the anger and prevented me from trashing the machine. That and being 432 in Hellscream's server queue (WoW talk for I was in line for 35 mins just to play a video game, OMFG) just about made me put a hole in my wall. But I was able to contain myself, like most always (Don't care what you think Anna or Grrlie) and the machine is 80% ready, after I pick up another piece of hardware to complete the process.

So that is about all that is going on, nothing earth-shattering, the grrlie-monster is leaving for a conference for 2 days, so I will be making love to World of Warcraft, and working on more machines. That sounded kinda gross actually. But after she gets back, I get to hit the slopes, or more likely, the slopes get to hit me. Hasta!

Drink: Twinnings Earl Grey Tea, hot (no nutmeg, you idiot)
iPod Track: James Lauer Live in Vegas - Opening Set for Crystal Method (w00000t!)
Weapon of Choice: My renewed contract.

Yep, you can take your finger off the button chief, call off the bombers, my contract did finally get renewed. 2 weeks before I would have cleaned out my cube. Nothing like waiting 'till the last minute to make the already slightly crazy person kick into high gear.

/* BEGIN SUPER STRESSMODE - AQUIRING TARGET..... */

But the tragedy was averted, and with a praising email from another supervisor, and a warm smile from my boss, I still am gainfully employed.

/*END SUPER STRESS MODE - CATTLEPROD HAS BEEN DEACTIVATED */

That and after about a bottle of wine with the grrrl (after I cooked a marvelous dinner) I have decreased my stress level a significant amount. Thank god, the stress creeping up my neck earlier this week almost made me hang myself in my cubicle. So I can actually be magnanimous, like I want to be, but most of the time cannot because stupid people drive me slightly insane on a daily basis.

So I am semi-relaxed and being studious today, so if you want to ask me for money/computer help/help burying the bodies, today would be the day. No guarantees about tomorrow.....

Drink: Nothing, haven't wanted to move yet
iPod Track: James Lauer - Rapid Transit Mix
Weapon of Choice: Penny Arcade Comics (see image :) )

So, today at work, I have taken 3 calls, and sat here, surfing, and listening to my iPod. I felt kinda guilty, because I wasn't working. But there really isn't anything for me to do when no one calls, I should be studying for my CCNA, but that has all the appeal of getting my nuts chomped on by a toothless whore. Uncomfortable.

But I looked around, and the other peeps in my cubicle ocean are chatting it up, just milling around, so I feel a bit better. But I am a contractor, and the ole contract is up at the end of the month, and if I don't get extended, I will have to sell my car, and prolly go back to giving hand jobs in the Olive Garden parking lot. Well maybe not sell my car, but you know what I mean. So what do I do now?

I guess I pop back on my headphones and keep jamming out. I did get 3 episodes of Mythbusters AND Ghost in the Shell on my iPod, so I can always watch those to kill the rest of my day, so I am going to tune out again.

Beverage: H2O, and the Cherry Coke from yesterday :(
iPod Track: Pharcyde - Runnin
Weapon of Choice: My angst and expiring contract.

Remember when we grew up a long time ago? (Well, some longer than others, lol) What is the most you remember about being say 13? 17? 21? Think about it for a second.

Year 13: I remember playing outside all the time when I was young, just screwing around with friends on my block, riding bikes, just being hooligans, but not the bad ones. Just stealing chrome tire air caps, and playing football on the school fields. Never really wondered what I was going to be, but I was always good with electronics and Construx. So I would build stuff like air ducts to direct the A/C to actually blow on me at night, and manufacturing devices that would give people little jolts if they tried to open my bedroom door without asking. Still getting rides to school, and playing junior league football, feeling about as uncool as possible compared to the "High Schoolers". My goal was to have as much fun as possible, and be cooler.

Year 17: Started getting into computers a bit, and following my electronics heritage, I overclocked my first IBM PS2 33Mhz, and forgot to cool it, got a new one under warranty after it went kaput. :) Remember just driving around in the Cougar, thinking smoking was cool, doing just ok in my classes, enough to get by, and still have enough time to play Tecmo Super Bowl III on SNES, and Final Fantasy 7 (eventually) on the PS1. Thought about becoming a script/ storyline writer for RPG video games, or even (gasp) work for a computer manufacturer. How improbable!!! There was this service called AOL that I used, and got my Dad's acct canceled for "phishing" others acct info. Just had to pay the extra usage charges, and no criminal charges were filed. Hack the planet!! (Thank god that isn't nowadays, or I would be in the Penn) My goals at the time were to have fun, and try to lose my virginity (that came next year).

Year 21: Big move to ISU was complete about 3 yrs ago, in a fraternity with no dough except what my measly job at the food court brings me, and when the fam shells out the scratch. Went to C-U a lot to visit the manchild that would evolve into the Underdog, and listened to a lot of good DJs. The thing I remember most about my 21st B-day is that when I bought 2 kegs and hard alcohol, there was like 4 people there. I went to my room for a sec to play more music, came back out, and there was like 100 people there. It was interesting. My PII 300Mhz was running my school apps and C++ programming stuff interestingly, since most of the code wasn't even mine (whoops, degree revoked x_x) Was hoping at the time to get out of college before I was 30, and work as a network administrator for a semi-large company. By goals at the time was to have as much fun as I could, and try not to crash my car.

Interesting how things change. And how fast, and with such magnitude.

Year 25: I now work for an IT staffing firm at a large insurance company doing troubleshooting for their workstations, and I am underpaid (like I am the only one). I work M-F, and I have a new car, a nice place, good friends, a great girlfriend, and I am still unhappy. I thought tech work would be my field, thought it would carry me into the next years of my life, making enough money to get by, but nothing extravagant. How much more wrong could I be? I don't want a million dollars, I just want enough to pay my bills, and maybe go on a cruise every year with the gurl. I don't want Escalades and ice, just enough to pay on my Altima and get a Ring Pop every once in a while. Now I am moving to the city, and I don't even know if I want to pursue the IT field. I don't have many choices, since I need income to pay for the things I have, and IT is what I have experience in. So I know how much I need to survive, I just have no idea what I want to do. I used to be good at building things, so maybe I should go into construction contracting. Rewarding work right, but money? Advancement? My goals.....I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!!

I'm tired of having no direction and no luck in my life. I don't want to be uber successful, I just want to have my head above water more than one friggin week. I am tired of hearing my parents say "I am only 25" when half of the 25 year olds and similar ages I know are in semi good jobs with good security, and have an idea of what they want to do. I am just tired of not being content, and doing what I don't want to do, seemingly all the fucking time. I want a job that is tolerable, not fun, just ok to work at, enough to know that it is a friggin job. I know there are people in this world that are worse off than me, to a degree that should make me guilty posting this type of rant. But my life is MINE, I can relate to those others, and I know things could always be worse, but I can't go thru my life thinking that I should just settle because "things can always get worse".

Well, there hadn't been any crazy posts for awhile, so you all knew this would happen. Enjoy, I guess....

Drink: Slightly warm Cherry Coke.
iPod Track: Beastie Boys - So Whatcha Want?
Weapon of Choice: My piece of shit Sprint phone.

Yeah, so same old same old at work, just another day of being interrupted from listening to my iPod by callers with user error problems. Chicago was cool, got see people I have missed, it was nice relaxing and listening to some classic vinyl. Was just a taste of things to come when me and the gurl move up there to wreak havoc upon the Windy City. Be afraid.

Yeah, so Sprint shut off my cell because I was 4$ over the acct spending limit, those assholes. I guess because I worked for them, they think that raping former employees is a fun activity. Bastards. Remind me to always to pay that bill on time, so I can wait out this pissy contract and go with someone else. Gh3y.

Going back to work after a semi-long weekend is weird, isn't it? You get back, you still know what you are doing, but everything seems weird, cuz you were just there, knowing what was going on everywhere, but you get back and you feel like "WTF did I just miss?" Maybe its just me, oh well. I am just a odd duck, I guess. :) Found out why I couldn't post too, looks like Blooger is having some issues with their servers. Eh, it happens, it was just weird. They have been real good about uptime though, and its a free service, so no bitchin from me. Well, back to the phones and problems, and waiting for the weekend. L8r.

Holy shit........yep its official......NO ANGER OR ANGST in teh post?!?!!! Must be those blue pills...... x_x

WTF????!!?? oh N03s!!!! Whatever shall I do?

Well time to drink more.

Well, finally a friggin day off, and I have to go to the doctor. Well, at least I get an extra day to screw around and not do work. And I get a free trip to Chicago out of the deal, pretty nice.

Well, its about time to finish up work here for the day, go home and do some more work, and then let the good times roll. Sort of, in a doctorial, annoying sort of way.